As I reach another birthday, I can’t help but feel a little emotional about all of the changes in my life. I’ve enjoyed my early-20s, and I could chalk it up to a lot of different factors: my support system, late nights, blessings, and more.

Truly however, regardless of how much overtime you spend at the office, the number of cups of coffee you consume, or how cognizant you are about never stepping on a crack, your life is a reflection of your state of your mentality. Your daily thoughts hold so much weight, and that can either be alarming, encouraging, or a fair mix of the two.

Nonetheless, it’s all about the inevitable law of attraction. As a wholehearted believer, I think you have the ability to manifest outcomes in your life if you take the time to focus and believe they can happen to and for you. Another aspect of this is being a giver and receiver of positive energy. If you serve as a light to others, the light will reflect in your own life. If you choose to revel in pessimism, that’ll be what you give off to others and what you get back.

I say all of that to say, you have control over what you want your life to look like. There are a few concepts I follow that have helped me transform throughout my early stages of adulthood and may be of use to you, too.

Align Yourself in Your Goals

If you say to yourself, “My life sucks. I don’t deserve better. I will never amount to anything,” or anything of that nature, it will more than likely remain that way for you. You attract what you give your sole attention to. Focus on changing your mindset instead to meaningful thoughts like “I am worthy and deserving. I’m following the career I believe in. I’m moving to my dream city. I’m doubling my salary or going to make X amount of money this year,” or whatever your goal may be.

Positive Affirmations

They may sound uber corny at first, but you’ve got to continuously repeat affirmations, and eventually, you’ll start to believe in them. As I talked about in my “Thoughts of an Ex” post, love languages are a great way we express our feelings for another person, and one of them is words of affirmation. If you can give words of affirmation to another person, why not give them to yourself? Your subconscious will often times shift gears when it comes to your decision-making. That’s why you may find yourself battling between the good self-care and the bad habits. Impairing your desire to shift your life all because you feel like you’re not deserving is often the result of what’s filling your subconscious. Focus on what you really want and foster affirmations that will guide you closer to achieving those goals.

Say Goodbye to the Negatives

Removing people from your life can create one of the most scariest feelings, but it is one of the most needed things to do sometimes if it means bettering yourself. I’ve had my fair share of draining relationships with folks that took me entirely too long to let go. They’d constantly complain about the things in their life but weren’t making any steps to change their circumstances. Or they’d talk crap about what either I or someone else has going on, in order to make themselves feel better. If you’re surrounding yourself around people who are taking more than they give, exhausting your energy, or constantly focusing on the bad, they’re probably taking a toll on your energy. Whatever you do, please don’t feel bad about throwing up the deuces to negative people. Energy can be felt. What do you want yours to feel like?

Remaining positive isn’t some walk in the park. It will not always be unicorns and lollipops. There are days where I question everything and wonder why timing couldn’t be better, blah blah blah. But it takes everything in me to keep my head up and reassure myself that everything will pan out the way that it’s supposed to.  Simply focus on making things happen and in due time, they will.